Introducing: The Public Apology™ – Now with Extra Sincerity!
Our #1 request from certain people is now a reality.
Did you accidentally “misspeak” on social media? Are your days spent wishing the things you dream up about a certain someone were true? Do you need for a certain someone to apologize for your own ridiculous behavior so that you don’t look quite so bad to the general public?
Whatever the case, The Public Apology™ is here to save your reputation faster than you can say, “taken out of context.”
Features:
✔ One-Size-Fits-All Regret – Perfect for hate-groups, podcasts, and that guy who took your lunch from the office fridge.
âś” Adjustable Tone – Choose from “Mildly Sorry” to “Deep, Soul-Crushing Remorse.”
✔ Tear-Activated Sympathy Boost – (Optional: Includes a tiny vial of artificial tears for extra believability.)
✔ Vague Accountability™ – Say sorry without actually admitting guilt!
Bonus Add-Ons:
🔹 “I Have Grown from This Experience” – Now with extra passive-aggression!
🔹 “I Will Do Better” – A classic favorite for repeat offenders.
🔹 “Blame Me For Everything” – Because it’s always someone else’s fault, right?
đź’ˇ NEW! Try our Premium Package, which includes App Screenshot Mode, the universal standard for paranormal apologies!
Don’t wait for the backlash to get worse—grab your Public Apology™ today and start your journey to forgiveness (or at least damage control). Order now, and we’ll throw in a half-hearted charity donation to make you look even better!
